Hi there,
It is the middle of the night, and once again the moon is full. It has been a month. The moon is beautiful wherever you go in the world and I have loved watching it in each place. It calls me to think and pray and reflect. So it has been a wonderful night even if it will take a few days to adjust the inner clock,...
I do want to tell you that you can 'scratch' the first paragraph of the last post. For since writing about pilfering - what a great word! - the lost has been found, and it is a great story - but one too long for here. You will have to ask me!!
I arrived home yesterday and was so glad to see everyone. I think Mitchell grew some inches while I was gone - I have to look higher now to see him - and his voice has deepened. Thomas has been working hard on some projects around the house as well as growing a beard, and it is all wonderful to behold. Taylor's smile and silent hugs say much; and it was incredibly good to see Tim. It was certainly time to come home.
It is the church anniversary this weekend here in Vancouver - 100 years - and so tomorrow (Wednesday) will be the day for me to begin to move into my part of the plans and preparations for it. It is also time to start up the rhythms of prayer at Stillpointe for the coming season.
In the midst of it all I will be very intrigued to see how gifts of this trip will continue to unfold in my work and calling. I am very interested to see what happens next with UECP, the church in Manila. Rita and Charles are still 'walking it through' in terms of the chemo. There is much goodness in the midst of the process, along with the necessary questions and waiting and wondering what it all means. I invite you to join me in continuing the prayer that has risen up in us around all these things.
I wonder about you, my companions - what this has been like for you. I would love to hear from you. I am watching to see how God is going to continue in the labor of what he has started in us all. He is faithful, and will accomplish his good purpose.
In the end, that is what it is all about, isn't it; the Trinity God is fully love, a love that is other than what we have known; and Love itself who has overcome all things, will continue to reveal and redeem all things, so that God alone might receive all honor and praise for all that he has done.
I am grateful.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
saying good-bye
Hi there,
I am sitting in the Japan airport, waiting for the final boarding of this trip. It has been an interesting few days, from the time that I left Australia. I have finally had the experience of having my luggage ripped and 'pilfered' and the attendant work of reporting it while trying to leave the country. Now this was interesting! This is a side of flying that is new to me! but I have to say - it does not discourage my love for travel.
Of much more importance, has been the time of coming back to Manila, de-briefing and retreating with Amanda, and then leaving. It is true - that in letting go of one thing, you embrace another. So, my heart is headed home to those I love, even as I leave this country and people that I love. It is a gift to realize that love can be with both of these parts - leaving and embracing/embracing and leaving - at the same time. Then there is no fear of being lost in chaos or in the void of 'between'.
So my second time in manila was about this. Amanda found a lovely place that belonged to a friend - the 20th floor of a building that had nothing between it and the ocean. Every room had a view of empty land - scrub and tall grasses - the city off to one side, with planes leaving manila off to the other side, and in front, the long view of the waters of the ocean. I had to catch myself - it was tempting to stop in mid-sentence and begin gazing out the window!! The view captured all my thoughts and was spacious enough for all of our prayers together. We prayed - for the church, for each other, for the future, and our prayers were shot through with thanksgiving, even as we wept. How can one not weep, when you realize both the goodness of God, and are invited to move deeper in trusting the hope that has been given in the midst of suffering?
For sure, the prayer is continuing, rising up in us and making way for God's continued labor.
And, for the last time, from a very great distance away, I woke each morning to hear a rooster crow!! Kind of a parting gift, I think.
Lastly, I have just experienced my first pedicure in an airport!! Just one more reason to love travel!!!
I have heard the call - it is time to board. As I leave, and return, I am grateful for each of you.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
I am sitting in the Japan airport, waiting for the final boarding of this trip. It has been an interesting few days, from the time that I left Australia. I have finally had the experience of having my luggage ripped and 'pilfered' and the attendant work of reporting it while trying to leave the country. Now this was interesting! This is a side of flying that is new to me! but I have to say - it does not discourage my love for travel.
Of much more importance, has been the time of coming back to Manila, de-briefing and retreating with Amanda, and then leaving. It is true - that in letting go of one thing, you embrace another. So, my heart is headed home to those I love, even as I leave this country and people that I love. It is a gift to realize that love can be with both of these parts - leaving and embracing/embracing and leaving - at the same time. Then there is no fear of being lost in chaos or in the void of 'between'.
So my second time in manila was about this. Amanda found a lovely place that belonged to a friend - the 20th floor of a building that had nothing between it and the ocean. Every room had a view of empty land - scrub and tall grasses - the city off to one side, with planes leaving manila off to the other side, and in front, the long view of the waters of the ocean. I had to catch myself - it was tempting to stop in mid-sentence and begin gazing out the window!! The view captured all my thoughts and was spacious enough for all of our prayers together. We prayed - for the church, for each other, for the future, and our prayers were shot through with thanksgiving, even as we wept. How can one not weep, when you realize both the goodness of God, and are invited to move deeper in trusting the hope that has been given in the midst of suffering?
For sure, the prayer is continuing, rising up in us and making way for God's continued labor.
And, for the last time, from a very great distance away, I woke each morning to hear a rooster crow!! Kind of a parting gift, I think.
Lastly, I have just experienced my first pedicure in an airport!! Just one more reason to love travel!!!
I have heard the call - it is time to board. As I leave, and return, I am grateful for each of you.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Australian Icons
Hi There,
When you think of Australia, what comes to mind?
For me, what comes to mind is Jan - my first Vancouver boss, who was as australian as they come. While being here, I understand in new ways who she was. Now there is also Irene, and Chris and Marilyn, and Rita and Charles, their children, and their grandchildren.
So, I have a problem. How do I bring Australia home? How do I bring a meaningful something that speaks of my time here in order to share it with all of you who I love? The bits and pieces that I love from here do not fit into my luggage!! There is great beauty here - there are so many things to see and do, adventure and exploration - but all I have a heart for and all I can see are these people.
From my whole trip, what I really have to bring home are words and stories, thoughts and perceptions, connections and hopes. I wonder what will happen next? How will God's call be further formed in me, and what will it look like as I follow?
We have done this together - I wonder what you are thinking, and discerning? I wonder if you see something that needs to happen next? I wonder what you are thinking, for me, for you, for us? I wonder how our prayers and the Spirit of God who rises them in us will continue to lead? (This is your invitation - lets talk!!)
For now, this blog is what I bring home and it will continue for a little longer.
As for icons, I have heard from someone in Vancouver that Australian Blundstones are very iconic - (think treasure) - boot/shoe things, you can check them out on the internet.
The funny thing is that Kathi, Rita and I have spent much time looking for them - a very difficult task - and everyone who we have talked to here get a very surprised, funny look on their face when we tell them how much they mean to those who are 'in the know' in Canada. (and you should also know that until a few short days ago, we were not those people!!) They really seem quite blind to what Canadians find 'valuable'!!!
I guess one end of this story could be that none of us really know what an icon/treasure is,....
but maybe it is also about this - that treasure is worth searching for; that treasure is treasure whether we recognize it or not; that the gifts of this trip will continue to be revealed even as I leave here; that what is as yet not fully known will become more known in the weeks, months years onward.
Maybe what I am involved in - what we are all involved in - is, in fact, the active questing of God for what he treasures. Just imagine! - as Rita told me the other day - that we and all of creation are THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE - and God not only has given all he could by offering Jesus, in order to 'buy the field and own the pearl of great price' but that this is still the continuing action of God - here, in me, in you, in this trip, in our life, in all of creation being redeemed.
That being so, we are not only the searchers, but we are being found by the one who created all things, who searches all things, who has made a way and will fulfil his word and purpose.
What an incredible thought - what a surprising beautiful hope-filled life-blessed thought.
Icons, treasures,......
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
When you think of Australia, what comes to mind?
For me, what comes to mind is Jan - my first Vancouver boss, who was as australian as they come. While being here, I understand in new ways who she was. Now there is also Irene, and Chris and Marilyn, and Rita and Charles, their children, and their grandchildren.
So, I have a problem. How do I bring Australia home? How do I bring a meaningful something that speaks of my time here in order to share it with all of you who I love? The bits and pieces that I love from here do not fit into my luggage!! There is great beauty here - there are so many things to see and do, adventure and exploration - but all I have a heart for and all I can see are these people.
From my whole trip, what I really have to bring home are words and stories, thoughts and perceptions, connections and hopes. I wonder what will happen next? How will God's call be further formed in me, and what will it look like as I follow?
We have done this together - I wonder what you are thinking, and discerning? I wonder if you see something that needs to happen next? I wonder what you are thinking, for me, for you, for us? I wonder how our prayers and the Spirit of God who rises them in us will continue to lead? (This is your invitation - lets talk!!)
For now, this blog is what I bring home and it will continue for a little longer.
As for icons, I have heard from someone in Vancouver that Australian Blundstones are very iconic - (think treasure) - boot/shoe things, you can check them out on the internet.
The funny thing is that Kathi, Rita and I have spent much time looking for them - a very difficult task - and everyone who we have talked to here get a very surprised, funny look on their face when we tell them how much they mean to those who are 'in the know' in Canada. (and you should also know that until a few short days ago, we were not those people!!) They really seem quite blind to what Canadians find 'valuable'!!!
I guess one end of this story could be that none of us really know what an icon/treasure is,....
but maybe it is also about this - that treasure is worth searching for; that treasure is treasure whether we recognize it or not; that the gifts of this trip will continue to be revealed even as I leave here; that what is as yet not fully known will become more known in the weeks, months years onward.
Maybe what I am involved in - what we are all involved in - is, in fact, the active questing of God for what he treasures. Just imagine! - as Rita told me the other day - that we and all of creation are THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE - and God not only has given all he could by offering Jesus, in order to 'buy the field and own the pearl of great price' but that this is still the continuing action of God - here, in me, in you, in this trip, in our life, in all of creation being redeemed.
That being so, we are not only the searchers, but we are being found by the one who created all things, who searches all things, who has made a way and will fulfil his word and purpose.
What an incredible thought - what a surprising beautiful hope-filled life-blessed thought.
Icons, treasures,......
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Upside-Down and awake
Hi there,
I am sitting in Charles' study, with the door open, looking out into the top of the gum trees and listening to the birds. It is like sitting in a treehouse as I listen to the various colorful and loudly opinioned birds having a particularly animated conversation!
The fragrance here is similar to that of the tropical rainforest room at the aquarium, only much gentler because it is not contained, but left free to drift by on the breeze. There is jasmine climbing up one of the trees, and growing along the railings of the deck - the sweet smell of it catches you by surprise and then floats away. It is a beautiful place, this Brisbane home!
We were away at the beach on the Australian Sunshine Coast for a few days this past week, and the weather was windy, with clouds scuttling by and then drawing together for an epic downpour. In fact, I heard today that the place where we were - Montville - had the most rain of any other place in this particular downpour. All I know is that Irene and Rita kept informing Kathi and I that ' this is very abnormal' and that 'if we could see, the view was magnificent!!' For Kathi and I, the fog, the downpour and the clouds on our heads was normal!! So we imagined the view and thanked them for the 'little bit of home'!
Rita told us that all year she had been praying for rain - they need it desperately - but wondered why it had to be on this particular day?
Of course, it did not rain the whole time we were there, and there was plenty of time to walk on the beach and be amazed at the surf!! It is incredibly beautiful on the Australian sunshine coast, and in comparison - even with the heavy rain that we experienced - I have to say that this particular sunshine coast definitely lives up to its name.
We stayed in a hospitality house - a simple home that a couple, Chris and Marilyn, bought in order to offer it in hospitality to all sorts of people. The home is a 5 minute walk from the longest beach I have ever seen, where the waves come from Canada, so I have been told! Chris and Marilyn live next door and gifted us with their presence and their openness. They are kin; I look forward to welcoming them to our neck of the woods and introducing them to you.
It is interesting to be in a place where heading north means to head into hotter degrees, where the south is colder, where September means spring and the school term is almost finished. It is discomfiting to realize that what you are watching is not an accident about to happen on the road, but the proper way to pass another vehicle! It is an upside-down, waking-up sort of place to be, and there is much space to re-think assumptions, routines and realities!! A great place both for reflection and forward-looking.
I am beginning to prepare to head back to Manila for de-briefing and retreat on my way home to Canada. There is much to think about and pray through. Thanks for journeying with me and for your continued prayers.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
I am sitting in Charles' study, with the door open, looking out into the top of the gum trees and listening to the birds. It is like sitting in a treehouse as I listen to the various colorful and loudly opinioned birds having a particularly animated conversation!
The fragrance here is similar to that of the tropical rainforest room at the aquarium, only much gentler because it is not contained, but left free to drift by on the breeze. There is jasmine climbing up one of the trees, and growing along the railings of the deck - the sweet smell of it catches you by surprise and then floats away. It is a beautiful place, this Brisbane home!
We were away at the beach on the Australian Sunshine Coast for a few days this past week, and the weather was windy, with clouds scuttling by and then drawing together for an epic downpour. In fact, I heard today that the place where we were - Montville - had the most rain of any other place in this particular downpour. All I know is that Irene and Rita kept informing Kathi and I that ' this is very abnormal' and that 'if we could see, the view was magnificent!!' For Kathi and I, the fog, the downpour and the clouds on our heads was normal!! So we imagined the view and thanked them for the 'little bit of home'!
Rita told us that all year she had been praying for rain - they need it desperately - but wondered why it had to be on this particular day?
Of course, it did not rain the whole time we were there, and there was plenty of time to walk on the beach and be amazed at the surf!! It is incredibly beautiful on the Australian sunshine coast, and in comparison - even with the heavy rain that we experienced - I have to say that this particular sunshine coast definitely lives up to its name.
We stayed in a hospitality house - a simple home that a couple, Chris and Marilyn, bought in order to offer it in hospitality to all sorts of people. The home is a 5 minute walk from the longest beach I have ever seen, where the waves come from Canada, so I have been told! Chris and Marilyn live next door and gifted us with their presence and their openness. They are kin; I look forward to welcoming them to our neck of the woods and introducing them to you.
It is interesting to be in a place where heading north means to head into hotter degrees, where the south is colder, where September means spring and the school term is almost finished. It is discomfiting to realize that what you are watching is not an accident about to happen on the road, but the proper way to pass another vehicle! It is an upside-down, waking-up sort of place to be, and there is much space to re-think assumptions, routines and realities!! A great place both for reflection and forward-looking.
I am beginning to prepare to head back to Manila for de-briefing and retreat on my way home to Canada. There is much to think about and pray through. Thanks for journeying with me and for your continued prayers.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Monday, September 1, 2008
He Looks Great!
Hi there,
I am here in Brisbane - have been for two days, and am just now 'waking up' to it. In fact this morning, I went for a little walk and a sit-down outside in the Ringma's beautiful garden and then coming back into their living room saw the couch. An hour later I woke with surprise - I did not remember sitting down!
Many things to tell, but for today this - Charles looks great. His body is strong and the twinkle in his eye is stronger! I wanted to let you all know that so that we can rejoice together over God's great goodness. And Rita, of course, looks amazing also!! It is wonderful to be here with them and there is only one thing missing. (Can you guess what (who)?)
Also thinking of the boys - they begin school today (their day coming.) I am grateful for all you 'aunts and uncles' that are there to love them and care for them.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
I am here in Brisbane - have been for two days, and am just now 'waking up' to it. In fact this morning, I went for a little walk and a sit-down outside in the Ringma's beautiful garden and then coming back into their living room saw the couch. An hour later I woke with surprise - I did not remember sitting down!
Many things to tell, but for today this - Charles looks great. His body is strong and the twinkle in his eye is stronger! I wanted to let you all know that so that we can rejoice together over God's great goodness. And Rita, of course, looks amazing also!! It is wonderful to be here with them and there is only one thing missing. (Can you guess what (who)?)
Also thinking of the boys - they begin school today (their day coming.) I am grateful for all you 'aunts and uncles' that are there to love them and care for them.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Missing a visa!
Hi there,
I am typing this at the free internet cafe in the Singapore Airport. This airport is something to be experienced!! It is expansive, and beautiful, and there are many options for relaxing. I have not tried the spas along the way, but almost, I am ready to.
I am thanking God that I am here - I had an adventure in Manila at the airport which involved realizing at the ticket counter that I needed a travel entry visa for Australia (I did not have one!) - the other financial visa issue ended up being a non-issue!! - being snuck through the immigration by attendants who were hoping that I would not be asked to produce a ticket (they could not give me a ticket until I had an entry visa!) and then applying for a visa at the Singapore Airlines lounge. $20 later and 5 minutes later, all was well, but the 2 hours getting to that point was a bit nerve-racking. As I get on this next plane, I will be half-way through my flight itinerary. I still like flying at this point!! Ask me again near the end of the trip!
There were those who were wondering if my luggage would be too heavy. So, just for those in Manila who have some stake in this - it was 26.5 kilos - the maximum weight being 30 kilos. So who wins, Amanda?
I am weary and happy, and looking forward to this next part of the trip. And I am missing everyone at home. Much to reflect on.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
I am typing this at the free internet cafe in the Singapore Airport. This airport is something to be experienced!! It is expansive, and beautiful, and there are many options for relaxing. I have not tried the spas along the way, but almost, I am ready to.
I am thanking God that I am here - I had an adventure in Manila at the airport which involved realizing at the ticket counter that I needed a travel entry visa for Australia (I did not have one!) - the other financial visa issue ended up being a non-issue!! - being snuck through the immigration by attendants who were hoping that I would not be asked to produce a ticket (they could not give me a ticket until I had an entry visa!) and then applying for a visa at the Singapore Airlines lounge. $20 later and 5 minutes later, all was well, but the 2 hours getting to that point was a bit nerve-racking. As I get on this next plane, I will be half-way through my flight itinerary. I still like flying at this point!! Ask me again near the end of the trip!
There were those who were wondering if my luggage would be too heavy. So, just for those in Manila who have some stake in this - it was 26.5 kilos - the maximum weight being 30 kilos. So who wins, Amanda?
I am weary and happy, and looking forward to this next part of the trip. And I am missing everyone at home. Much to reflect on.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Friday, August 29, 2008
Saturday prayers
Today, I am sitting in the church office, catching up on some e-mails, and then preparing to sit with two more people in the day. I feel that this morning time will be a strong one, or intense, but I am not sure why I am feeling that. If you are reading this, please pray for us. Amanda will be sitting with me on this one.
I started packing up last night. There are some things that I will leave here - I cannot carry them into Australia, so will leave them in Amanda's care until I come back in 12 days.
I will spend some time practicing as well. I am singing in the second worship service tomorrow morning - two songs that I love. Broken and Spilled Out - this song was one that I used to sing when I was 15 - my mom has a recording of it actually! - and I have not even thought about it until one week before I left for Manila. I have no music, only words, so am making it up as I go. The other song is Replace it With Your Love - another oldie for me - but these are the ones that have come to my mind. Again, I have half of the music, so will be creating the rest of it as I go along. Trusting that these will be a blessing; sort of a parting gift. The Filipinos have a tradition of despidita - ( I am not sure 0n the spelling) where the person leaving gives gifts. I want with all my heart for this to be my gift to them.
Right after the service we leave for the airport, and here I would appreciate your prayers. I bought a ticket already for here to Brisbane while I was in Vancouver, but I am not allowed to confirm it until the day of departure here at the Manila airport. I need this to go smoothly- that they will confirm and accept that I am the one who bought it, and they will accept the letter from the VISA company that all is in order. (long story!) Thanks for your prayers.
Will talk to you soon,
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Friday morning in Manila
Hi there,
I was given a small piece of durian yesterday. Pastor Felix retrieved it from his apartment, and when I received it, I began to understand why they don't want it in the church office. This small piece was in a plastic container, tied up in a bag, and still the 'fragrance' was strong. I did not open it then, and in fact, I have not opened it yet. It sat in my fridge overnight, and when I opened the fridge door this morning, it announced its presence. This is a difficult one,.... any advice?
By yesterday evening, I was fairly done in. Of course my body had a few things to say, and my heart was weary as well. I have two more days of meeting with people, and then on Sunday I sing here in the worship before heading to the airport. But this morning, I am rested, up early and taking some 'space' before my first sitting in about a 1/2 hour.
I did a shopping errand yesterday, walking through an outside market named 'divisorio' that filled 4 or 5 blocks. Apparently most goods arrive here from outside Manila, and then is 'divided' or distributed to different areas of the city. It is outdoor wholesale. The place is filled with people, and as a white person, I caused a lot of attention. I went with pastor L.J. who took me on a jeepney ride, and then led me to two stores that I had asked to go to; then we walked back to the church - we could walk faster than the jeepneys could travel by that time of the day.
I am a power shopper - I can last only about 1 hour, so the big thing is to know what I am going for and then get in and get out. But the color, and sounds, the extremes of poverty and abundance, the beauty of the children and the desperateness of some of the situations - it was almost too much to receive and observe and understand at the same time. I want to go back without having to be shopping, just be present to it all. But it may be a grace that I probably will not have that ability on this trip. How would I make more space in my spirit for what I would see?
Later, as I was traveling to an evening appointment I was thinking about how my perspective would be different if I had no choice but to stay. I thought about the fact that I have this glimpse into life here, but it is not mine to own. If it was, if this is what I knew only, then what would my response be? How would grace be enacted in me? Again, my heart is stretched.
So today, as you read this, pray for us. I am sitting with two people, and then tomorrow with two more. I need to prepare for Sunday singing, and will need to rest. Pray for me that I will continue to keep my face turned to Christ, and look for him in the midst of all these things.
I am beginning to have thoughts about Australia, and being with dear friends - but I am shelving those thoughts for later, in my strong desire to stay present to this place and this time. I don't want to leave here yet. As well, the thought of travel to Singapore and Brisbane - moving into the anticipation of the next part of the trip - that is like candy to me. I look forward to the travel time when it comes.
As for the durian, well,....
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Adventure!!
Hi there,
I was to post the previous post last night, and just as I finished writing it, the power went out.
During the monsoon season, Manila struggles through brown-outs and black-outs. As far as I understand, a brown-out is when there are difficulties with electricity; nothing is stable (that has happened while I have been here and it is the reason that at times it is impossible to return an e-mail or send a blog, or cook a meal with electric heat, or do anything that relies on electric energy). Last night, shortly after we arrived home we had a black-out. It had started to rain as we were coming into Manila - not lashing rain (not yet!) but enough for the conversation to turn towards flooding stories. For here, when the rain comes down so hard and so fast, the streets get flooded; so I heard stories of people sitting in cars for hours as they are stranded by the waters, or of gridlock on the roads as everyone is trying to find higher ground so that their engines do not flood. Drivers in Manila are very creative I have noticed, but in listening to the stories I imagined that I have not seen anything yet!!
So we made it back to the church before the heavy deluge of water came crashing down, which caused two transformers on the street to blow, bankrupted the church generator, and left the place in darkness. (Except for my laptop which was running on battery and provided me with light!)
I took this as a sign - time to head upstairs. There were a few battery-powered lights but not on the third and fourth floor and I must admit, it was very dark! But in my rooms there was a battery-light as well. So, I set out a meal of fruit and crackers, and then read a book! What luxury! I know that Amanda would not appreciate that comment - those who live here have had more than enough of their share of these things! - but I immediately thought that it was very hermit-ish, and loved having no other choices to make. It reminded me of snowstorms and icestorms growing up in Ontario, and of the few times that wind storms have caused this sort of havoc at home in Vancouver. And of course, once you are home and cared for (which is a very important pre-requisite!!) then you snuggle in and settle down for as long as it is happening. Growing up I remember wanting it to last forever - no school! But here the concern is not how to keep warm, it is how to keep cool! and I needed to know that Amanda had made it home okay.
I opened all the windows, took a shower and then went to bed. During the evening, people came to my door to offer me food and comfort, candles, and to make sure that I was okay.
The electricity was restored in the night, and life is happening as usual.
Trust that all is well with you,
Much love,
Peace,
Mary
Retreat and sittings
Hi there,
It is tuesday evening here - we have just come back from the pastors' retreat. We travelled to Tagaytay - about 2 hours away - which can translate into 3 or 4 hours because of traffic, and because it is tradition to stop for marienda! We were hosted at a private residence with grounds and an incredible garden. And the garden, get this! was called "Mary's Garden". Now, they did not choose this place because of the name - but I can imagine the twinkle in God's eye as it was set up! The flowers and shrubs, and pathways and ponds were a feast for my eyes! and I recognized many flowers. I mean I recognized them, but I don't know their name here, in the same way that I don't know their name at home! I was amazed at all that I found that were the same as in Vancouver. It was a spacious place, and I had the opportunity to see the terrain at great length - lots of very steep hills, pineapple plantations, banana groves and green growth of all sorts! Later, on the drive home, On the way my companions showed me a small active volcano which is famous because it sits in a lake (the ocean I think!) and has a lake inside it. It is a beautiful land.
The residence that we stayed in was an incredible example of historical spanish-influenced architecture - quite rare now in Manila - with seashell window shutters (that stayed open) windows covered with netting and then wrought iron lattices. The walls upstairs were woven banana leaf wall-coverings held in place with bamboo, and the floors were mahogany. There were many outside balconies and we took our meals on a terrace that held a magnificent view - I could hardly pull my eyes from it! It was a great place to watch the evening's thunderstorm.
The retreat was spent making space for the group to rest and worship, talk, tell stories about forgiveness, ask questions of healing, and then this morning we prayed for the church, shared communion, and I led them in a service of anointing. It was good. It was a creative time, and much was shared, honestly and with humility and hope. As I sat with them, and walked with them, and listened to their stories as a group or single-y, I began to recognize or connect the faces to the love that God has shared with me for these pastors over the last months. I am not sure how to explain that further,...
The service today was a time of stepping back for me - a time to invite them to step into and look towards a vision for God's healing grace in this church. I listened to their prayers - in English and Chinese - and I wondered how God was going to continue the conversation? I wondered what each one will take on about healing? I wondered how confession, forgiveness and healing will work its way in the church? for healing like prayer, is amongst all of us. I wondered who of these faces God is raising up particularly to be ministers in his healing gifts, in whatever way? As I write these questions, I am curious and yearning, but mostly at the moment, I am tired, and glad that I could take my place, fulfill my offering to God and that I could then let go and rest. Yet still, there is great love.
I will be spending the rest of the week sitting with people - the priority being the pastoral staff - and praying with them. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a particularly full day, and some of the time this week is with people who I know have suffered much. I do not know about the others I am sitting with. Please, if I come to mind, pray for me and for the ones that I am sitting with, listening to, and praying with. I have invited all those who come to bring along someone as prayer support as a sort of apprenticeship if they are comfortable with it. I am not sure if that will happen - I think trust is very difficult in this culture - because somehow the practice of trust is attached to and twisted by deep shame. There are illusions of shame that create great poverty and great idolatry. Of course, for shame is like any other lie from the prince of this world that are held against us, regardless of any culture. And yet they have allowed me to share with them - a decision to trust! So, if I come to mind, that is because you are our prayer support! Thank you so much.
I have begun a list of all the things I have never eaten before: ensalada, pork joint, pig's ear, yam cake, stuffed boiled squid, a philipino vegetable that I have not heard of, and coconut milk right out of the green coconut. They have promised that I will eat durian before I leave! Some of these things I like better than others,....
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Frailties and Gifts
Hi there,
It is Sunday morning - almost 5am. Today, I am earlier than the rooster!! (I wonder if there is any way to wake him up??) By Vancouver watch, it is almost 2 pm on Saturday. Tim and the boys are at Jordan Diewert's wedding, and it is almost my brother's birthday. Larry, just thought you would want everyone to know!!!!! Love you!
Friday evening - the couples night went well. I enjoyed giving a talk on how Marriage exposes Sin! To take things totally out of context and to pique your curiosity, I can tell you that Tim was mentioned, as was a paper I wrote in Bible College entitled, "How it feels to be Perfect." (smile)(mischievous, rueful, humbled with light in her eyes) There were about 40 people involved in discussion after the talk, and then I was invited to lead them in a time of prayers of healing for our marriages.
I am moved by the way this congregation prays. The facilitator begins the prayer, and then steps back from the mike, and everyone begins to pray verbally at the same time. There is a beautiful sense of questing and freedom to pray what is on your heart - everyone prays out loud and God takes on the job of listening! and at once I am participating in a deliberation that shares in humility and intimacy not only with God, but with each other. Can you just imagine what it looks like in the throne room?
It was as I stood to move to the front to lead Friday evening's prayer-time that my body decided to let me know that enough was enough, and my left hip went on strike. I did manage to get to where I needed to go, lead the prayer, and then get back to my seat. Quickly, back to my rooms. Sitting on my couch, my whole right side and both hands were complaining as well. It was time for me to listen!
So I have been. I spent much of Friday night up listening in fact! and yesterday rested between two sittings. It is okay; my ear and my heart are not touched by this strange and wonderful virus.
Then I asked Amanda to take me for a gentle walk for a few blocks around her neighborhood. I had some things to say to this body, right back! We walked some of the streets of her history and I enjoyed the insider's view on what I was seeing. Amanda and I walk at the same pace; it is a wonderful companionship and yesterday, a needed gift.
(I beat the rooster by 35 minutes - he has just started crowing. He sounds a little embarrassed!)
Today is sabbath for me. I am looking forward to worship here - this will be my first Sunday worship in this building, and I can't wait to participate in it with these dear ones. Then I will rest, play, and pack for our 7am journey in the morning. I still need physical restoration and resource in order to be prepared for the pastor's retreat for which we leave at 7am tomorrow. ( I have already let Mr. R. Crow know,....)
Did I tell you that every day this wonderful 24-year-old woman cooks two meals for me and delivers them to my rooms? This is another way that the church is providing for me. I came with a heart prepared to serve, and I am being served.
The idea of someone taking on this job with all its necessary particularities for western sensibilities is hardly imaginable, and I think of that gift each time I sit down to one of these meals. Not only that, but this food is incredible! It is obvious that she attends to the smallest of details - color, portion, presentation and garnishes, and she has done it all to bless me. And the taste - well the taste is something that I cannot give any justice to. The only comparison I can make to this gift is Loren and his ability to prepare food to share with the kinbrace community- his attention to beauty, taste and the love with which he prepares it is the same. All Gift!!!
I could keep writing - it is a season of gifts! - but I will end with just one more.
It was the gift yesterday of blessing baby Nigel and anointing him with oil, and having him roll into and then kick my hand that was pressed onto the belly that held him safe inside.
What is unknown will become known and in this great mystery, love abounds.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
It is Sunday morning - almost 5am. Today, I am earlier than the rooster!! (I wonder if there is any way to wake him up??) By Vancouver watch, it is almost 2 pm on Saturday. Tim and the boys are at Jordan Diewert's wedding, and it is almost my brother's birthday. Larry, just thought you would want everyone to know!!!!! Love you!
Friday evening - the couples night went well. I enjoyed giving a talk on how Marriage exposes Sin! To take things totally out of context and to pique your curiosity, I can tell you that Tim was mentioned, as was a paper I wrote in Bible College entitled, "How it feels to be Perfect." (smile)(mischievous, rueful, humbled with light in her eyes) There were about 40 people involved in discussion after the talk, and then I was invited to lead them in a time of prayers of healing for our marriages.
I am moved by the way this congregation prays. The facilitator begins the prayer, and then steps back from the mike, and everyone begins to pray verbally at the same time. There is a beautiful sense of questing and freedom to pray what is on your heart - everyone prays out loud and God takes on the job of listening! and at once I am participating in a deliberation that shares in humility and intimacy not only with God, but with each other. Can you just imagine what it looks like in the throne room?
It was as I stood to move to the front to lead Friday evening's prayer-time that my body decided to let me know that enough was enough, and my left hip went on strike. I did manage to get to where I needed to go, lead the prayer, and then get back to my seat. Quickly, back to my rooms. Sitting on my couch, my whole right side and both hands were complaining as well. It was time for me to listen!
So I have been. I spent much of Friday night up listening in fact! and yesterday rested between two sittings. It is okay; my ear and my heart are not touched by this strange and wonderful virus.
Then I asked Amanda to take me for a gentle walk for a few blocks around her neighborhood. I had some things to say to this body, right back! We walked some of the streets of her history and I enjoyed the insider's view on what I was seeing. Amanda and I walk at the same pace; it is a wonderful companionship and yesterday, a needed gift.
(I beat the rooster by 35 minutes - he has just started crowing. He sounds a little embarrassed!)
Today is sabbath for me. I am looking forward to worship here - this will be my first Sunday worship in this building, and I can't wait to participate in it with these dear ones. Then I will rest, play, and pack for our 7am journey in the morning. I still need physical restoration and resource in order to be prepared for the pastor's retreat for which we leave at 7am tomorrow. ( I have already let Mr. R. Crow know,....)
Did I tell you that every day this wonderful 24-year-old woman cooks two meals for me and delivers them to my rooms? This is another way that the church is providing for me. I came with a heart prepared to serve, and I am being served.
The idea of someone taking on this job with all its necessary particularities for western sensibilities is hardly imaginable, and I think of that gift each time I sit down to one of these meals. Not only that, but this food is incredible! It is obvious that she attends to the smallest of details - color, portion, presentation and garnishes, and she has done it all to bless me. And the taste - well the taste is something that I cannot give any justice to. The only comparison I can make to this gift is Loren and his ability to prepare food to share with the kinbrace community- his attention to beauty, taste and the love with which he prepares it is the same. All Gift!!!
I could keep writing - it is a season of gifts! - but I will end with just one more.
It was the gift yesterday of blessing baby Nigel and anointing him with oil, and having him roll into and then kick my hand that was pressed onto the belly that held him safe inside.
What is unknown will become known and in this great mystery, love abounds.
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Perspectives
Hi there,
It is 11pm, Thursday evening. One hour ago I finished teaching the last evening seminar.
In the last three days, I have given 5 seminars of 3 hours each to 130 people. I have talked for 15 hours plus since Tuesday morning. This is almost unfathomable for a city hermit! It was in the middle of the second day, when I counted up the hours and realized the magnitude of what I was doing. It is almost more surprising that I only figured that out then!!
In fact, I was considering yesterday - in the middle break of my 6 hours of speaking that day - that I still needed to continue preparations for Friday night (yet to come). And my responsive thought was - Oh, no big deal, it is only 40 minutes. (my goodness!)
Can I say that my perspectives have changed? Yes!!!
Can I say that I have been stretched? Yes!!!
Can I say that I have been learning and receiving much in this part of my trip? Yes!! Double Yes!!!
This is an amazing journey.
How do I tell you of all these things?
So, the seminars are finished. I would start them all over again tomorrow if I could.
Peace,
Mary
It is 11pm, Thursday evening. One hour ago I finished teaching the last evening seminar.
In the last three days, I have given 5 seminars of 3 hours each to 130 people. I have talked for 15 hours plus since Tuesday morning. This is almost unfathomable for a city hermit! It was in the middle of the second day, when I counted up the hours and realized the magnitude of what I was doing. It is almost more surprising that I only figured that out then!!
In fact, I was considering yesterday - in the middle break of my 6 hours of speaking that day - that I still needed to continue preparations for Friday night (yet to come). And my responsive thought was - Oh, no big deal, it is only 40 minutes. (my goodness!)
Can I say that my perspectives have changed? Yes!!!
Can I say that I have been stretched? Yes!!!
Can I say that I have been learning and receiving much in this part of my trip? Yes!! Double Yes!!!
This is an amazing journey.
How do I tell you of all these things?
So, the seminars are finished. I would start them all over again tomorrow if I could.
Peace,
Mary
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Softening
Hi there,
Early, early in the morning - the neighborhood rooster here is a real 'up and at im' sort of bird. I have woken thinking about last Saturday.
I believe that last Saturday my heart was broken. It was not a breaking that left me in despair, or incapacitated - but one in which I both grieved and hoped, and in the clarity of both, I saw what I was not, and who God was. I kept thinking of that prayer (I am not sure who wrote it) "Lord, let my heart be broken with the things that break your heart".
Honestly, I usually resist that prayer, but last saturday love broke down my resistance.
So it was my first meeting at the church - seeing the building and meeting three of the faithful - those who have been in prayer for a long time already around this seminar. Pastor L.J. showed me around the church - it is a spacious place, and much love has been poured into it over the 80 years that it has been here. It is 5 stories high with permanant residences in it for some of the Reverends and temporary lodgings for people like me! Then Amanda and Leonida arrived, and we sat together.
These three told me about the history of the church - it is a church that has daughtered 13 churches and some of those have daughtered churches as well. Two generations of sharing the gospel here. They told me of the many programs, outreaches and workings; they introduced me to some of the 15 pastors and 4 Reverends here. And then they began to share their heart - and here, I heard of great longing and deep weariness, I heard of a difficult 10 years, a sense of caution and some lack of peace. I heard of a church that has been waiting, waiting for so long. We prayed and in the midst of the honesty,tears and longing, my heart grew tender.
Amanda lives on the same street as the church, and after the meeting, she invited me into her home. We walked down the street -so much happening on the street - and she told me stories of her history here, and more of the church - the church runs an elementary school, and a high school, further down the block. I was finally in her home. I laughed with joy to be actually physically standing in her room. It is a gift to be invited in - I felt blessed and felt a sense of vulnerability. My tenderness expanded. Then it was time for me to travel back to the guesthouse.
Much of life happens here on the streets. Literally. In the midst of rush hour, where three lanes of traffic become four (or five) friends are greeting each other, errands are happening, sellers are hawking their wares (to those in the cars), children are playing, dogs are managing to stay out of the way but as close as they can to the action (read food), trucks are being unloaded, a chapel sits in the middle of the road dividing two lanes. Jeepneys stop on a dime wherever they are to let passengers out or take on new ones and bikes or trikes edge into whatever space will have them for the moment, in order to get ahead. Everyone is watchful in the midst - and there is an intricate accompanying language, using hand signals, car movement and horns that blurs the hard lines on the road.
So this day, it was a long drive home - I had much time to reflect, often with tears in my eyes, on my heart's tenderness; wondering what I was called to and more readily, grieving what I was not called to.
I arrived home in time to have dinner with a couple at the guesthouse, who I found out, were expecting their first child. The mom-to-be is older and was anxious with some questions. She had been looking for someone to talk to. In the course of our discussion it was hinted that I needed to come to Bagio with them for a month or two and stay to help! Of course that is impossible, but I hoped that I was able to offer some comfort and calm some fears. And again, it was a case of seeing but not taking on. This action of birthing, being present to, how does it happen here? I wondered again at how these words kept coming, from all sides! How was I to companion, and who?
Surprisingly, I began to think that I am here to companion first of all, Christ. To watch for and be present to God's labour of love here in this place. Isaiah 42:12-17 comes to me again. What is God birthing here? My work cannot be of taking it on - I am here only a short time, and limited in so many ways. I am not a super-being whose job is to fly in and make all things right. But I am called to watch, to see all that there is to see and to accompany the labourer, to advocate for the labourer who is doing that work. And at these thoughts, my heart felt full to the breaking point.
Please pray. Today, as I move into the second day of the morning track, and the first day of the evening track - please pray that my eyes will be opened in this way - to see the labour of God, and to search out his heart amongst his people. Please pray that I will not turn my heart or my sight away from this companionship - there is much suffering. Please pray that I will remember this work of companioning God when I see what I see, and feel the pressure to take on what is not mine. Please pray that I will remember to encourage those who are part of God's labor here so that they may take on what is theirs with comfort and confidence. Please pray that I will be able to help make visible the path of peace for these dear ones.
Final note: Yesterday, upon meeting Rev. Willy, he gave me a message for you - that he had been praying for me and for our church - for us. You are not only praying, you are being held in prayer! What a kinship we belong to.
Love,
Peace,
Mary
Early, early in the morning - the neighborhood rooster here is a real 'up and at im' sort of bird. I have woken thinking about last Saturday.
I believe that last Saturday my heart was broken. It was not a breaking that left me in despair, or incapacitated - but one in which I both grieved and hoped, and in the clarity of both, I saw what I was not, and who God was. I kept thinking of that prayer (I am not sure who wrote it) "Lord, let my heart be broken with the things that break your heart".
Honestly, I usually resist that prayer, but last saturday love broke down my resistance.
So it was my first meeting at the church - seeing the building and meeting three of the faithful - those who have been in prayer for a long time already around this seminar. Pastor L.J. showed me around the church - it is a spacious place, and much love has been poured into it over the 80 years that it has been here. It is 5 stories high with permanant residences in it for some of the Reverends and temporary lodgings for people like me! Then Amanda and Leonida arrived, and we sat together.
These three told me about the history of the church - it is a church that has daughtered 13 churches and some of those have daughtered churches as well. Two generations of sharing the gospel here. They told me of the many programs, outreaches and workings; they introduced me to some of the 15 pastors and 4 Reverends here. And then they began to share their heart - and here, I heard of great longing and deep weariness, I heard of a difficult 10 years, a sense of caution and some lack of peace. I heard of a church that has been waiting, waiting for so long. We prayed and in the midst of the honesty,tears and longing, my heart grew tender.
Amanda lives on the same street as the church, and after the meeting, she invited me into her home. We walked down the street -so much happening on the street - and she told me stories of her history here, and more of the church - the church runs an elementary school, and a high school, further down the block. I was finally in her home. I laughed with joy to be actually physically standing in her room. It is a gift to be invited in - I felt blessed and felt a sense of vulnerability. My tenderness expanded. Then it was time for me to travel back to the guesthouse.
Much of life happens here on the streets. Literally. In the midst of rush hour, where three lanes of traffic become four (or five) friends are greeting each other, errands are happening, sellers are hawking their wares (to those in the cars), children are playing, dogs are managing to stay out of the way but as close as they can to the action (read food), trucks are being unloaded, a chapel sits in the middle of the road dividing two lanes. Jeepneys stop on a dime wherever they are to let passengers out or take on new ones and bikes or trikes edge into whatever space will have them for the moment, in order to get ahead. Everyone is watchful in the midst - and there is an intricate accompanying language, using hand signals, car movement and horns that blurs the hard lines on the road.
So this day, it was a long drive home - I had much time to reflect, often with tears in my eyes, on my heart's tenderness; wondering what I was called to and more readily, grieving what I was not called to.
I arrived home in time to have dinner with a couple at the guesthouse, who I found out, were expecting their first child. The mom-to-be is older and was anxious with some questions. She had been looking for someone to talk to. In the course of our discussion it was hinted that I needed to come to Bagio with them for a month or two and stay to help! Of course that is impossible, but I hoped that I was able to offer some comfort and calm some fears. And again, it was a case of seeing but not taking on. This action of birthing, being present to, how does it happen here? I wondered again at how these words kept coming, from all sides! How was I to companion, and who?
Surprisingly, I began to think that I am here to companion first of all, Christ. To watch for and be present to God's labour of love here in this place. Isaiah 42:12-17 comes to me again. What is God birthing here? My work cannot be of taking it on - I am here only a short time, and limited in so many ways. I am not a super-being whose job is to fly in and make all things right. But I am called to watch, to see all that there is to see and to accompany the labourer, to advocate for the labourer who is doing that work. And at these thoughts, my heart felt full to the breaking point.
Please pray. Today, as I move into the second day of the morning track, and the first day of the evening track - please pray that my eyes will be opened in this way - to see the labour of God, and to search out his heart amongst his people. Please pray that I will not turn my heart or my sight away from this companionship - there is much suffering. Please pray that I will remember this work of companioning God when I see what I see, and feel the pressure to take on what is not mine. Please pray that I will remember to encourage those who are part of God's labor here so that they may take on what is theirs with comfort and confidence. Please pray that I will be able to help make visible the path of peace for these dear ones.
Final note: Yesterday, upon meeting Rev. Willy, he gave me a message for you - that he had been praying for me and for our church - for us. You are not only praying, you are being held in prayer! What a kinship we belong to.
Love,
Peace,
Mary
How now?
Dear Friends,
After telling you that I would not be able to access the blog, and that Thomas was the blog master - and I am still grateful, Thomas - I have moved to the church building, and I have the ability to write here! The rooms are spacious, and comfortable - and I gain about 2 hours of what would otherwise be travel time each day. So, I have space and more time. This is a large gift that I have received today.
So, this morning happened. It was good.
There is much behind those two sentences, and I am not sure yet how to give words to it. But gratitude and love and openness and questing and God's amazing grace are some of the words. And stories. Many stories bursting to be told, to be listened to, comforted, healed, redeemed, affirmed, encouraged. As I write this, I can see the faces behind the stories that you cannot - but let me tell you, the faces are beautiful. They are beautiful.
Sending love,
Peace,
Mary
After telling you that I would not be able to access the blog, and that Thomas was the blog master - and I am still grateful, Thomas - I have moved to the church building, and I have the ability to write here! The rooms are spacious, and comfortable - and I gain about 2 hours of what would otherwise be travel time each day. So, I have space and more time. This is a large gift that I have received today.
So, this morning happened. It was good.
There is much behind those two sentences, and I am not sure yet how to give words to it. But gratitude and love and openness and questing and God's amazing grace are some of the words. And stories. Many stories bursting to be told, to be listened to, comforted, healed, redeemed, affirmed, encouraged. As I write this, I can see the faces behind the stories that you cannot - but let me tell you, the faces are beautiful. They are beautiful.
Sending love,
Peace,
Mary
Monday, August 18, 2008
looking ahead
Hi there,
I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow as the seminar begins, I am also moving out of the SIL Guesthouse that I have been in, and into the church building itself, for some of the time if not for the duration of my time in Manila. This will cut down on the heavy travel time demands, and because I will be in a room right on the 4th floor of the church - I can 'get home fast' when I need to rest. This also means that I am not sure what access that I will have to send posts. Please know if you don't here from me, that I have not forgotten you, and I appreciate so much the prayers that are holding this adventure.
So, I teach for the next three mornings, and starting Wednesday, the next three evenings as well. Friday morning and Saturday morning and afternoon I will be available to meet with people. Sue, I want you to know that yes, Sunday is a sabbath day for me, and it is already planned and held as such by those who are caring for me here. I look forward to worship and then being with friends who are very gentle!! I am taking your words to heart!
Monday morning very early, I leave on Retreat with the pastors and reverends, and we are back Tuesday evening. From Wednesday morning onward next week, I am available to sit with and pray with people during the day. There are several appointments already set up. If we come to mind during the second week, pray for the one-with-one or two-with-one times that will be happening, as well as for the pastors on retreat. I do think of you as my prayer partners in these sittings - part of the large unseen of God's grace all around - as I am present here.
I also wanted to let you know that I have not had access to my own blog - the net administrator for this building has banned the Blogspot website! So Thomas has been my blog master and has been the one to faithfully post my words as he receives my e-mails. Thank you Thomas! If you are keeping in touch through the blog, Thomas passes it along to me. Thanks to you, as well!
One final note - It is beautiful here. Today it was sunny and warm, and I swam in the outside pool (which I had all to myself) (sort of a mini-sabbath!) and floating on the surface of the water were a few fragrant pink flowers, that had fallen from the tree that was providing shade and catching the gentle breeze for me. What a gift!
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow as the seminar begins, I am also moving out of the SIL Guesthouse that I have been in, and into the church building itself, for some of the time if not for the duration of my time in Manila. This will cut down on the heavy travel time demands, and because I will be in a room right on the 4th floor of the church - I can 'get home fast' when I need to rest. This also means that I am not sure what access that I will have to send posts. Please know if you don't here from me, that I have not forgotten you, and I appreciate so much the prayers that are holding this adventure.
So, I teach for the next three mornings, and starting Wednesday, the next three evenings as well. Friday morning and Saturday morning and afternoon I will be available to meet with people. Sue, I want you to know that yes, Sunday is a sabbath day for me, and it is already planned and held as such by those who are caring for me here. I look forward to worship and then being with friends who are very gentle!! I am taking your words to heart!
Monday morning very early, I leave on Retreat with the pastors and reverends, and we are back Tuesday evening. From Wednesday morning onward next week, I am available to sit with and pray with people during the day. There are several appointments already set up. If we come to mind during the second week, pray for the one-with-one or two-with-one times that will be happening, as well as for the pastors on retreat. I do think of you as my prayer partners in these sittings - part of the large unseen of God's grace all around - as I am present here.
I also wanted to let you know that I have not had access to my own blog - the net administrator for this building has banned the Blogspot website! So Thomas has been my blog master and has been the one to faithfully post my words as he receives my e-mails. Thank you Thomas! If you are keeping in touch through the blog, Thomas passes it along to me. Thanks to you, as well!
One final note - It is beautiful here. Today it was sunny and warm, and I swam in the outside pool (which I had all to myself) (sort of a mini-sabbath!) and floating on the surface of the water were a few fragrant pink flowers, that had fallen from the tree that was providing shade and catching the gentle breeze for me. What a gift!
Love you much,
Peace,
Mary
here is where it begins
Hi Friends,
So....tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning the seminar begins. I have spent the day - I think my internal clock is just about in sync with life here - praying and sewing (the two activities can work together remarkably well!) - going over notes from the second and third morning, and finishing off preparation for the Friday evening. That is what I will spend the rest of the day doing as well. Conversing with my thoughts and praying as I set them deep within me.
But tomorrow is the first morning, the first day of the seminar that I have prepared, and this day of teaching is searing a hole in my heart. It is the large picture of Healing, one that addresses some of our fears, stereotypes and the unknown of who God is, and what God is on about.
So last night (and I am not changing the subject!) I was invited for dinner with Amanda and her whole extended family. It was a lovely evening, and I felt very welcomed and at home with the 10 of us around the table - I sat watching and noticing how similar the family interactions were to what I see at home in Vancouver. (Well household, ( and I include myself in this word!) almost - this table was maybe a little more -could I use the word 'courteous?) (Remember, I am laughing as I say this!!)
Daniel, Amanda's elder brother, is a very accomplished doctor working with lung disease and well-known in his field, and it was so interesting to hear his stories and questions around 'healing' as opposed to 'being cured'. He has thought often and long about this from a faith as well as a medical perspective. He asked me how I was going to start to teach about healing, and I said that I was going to start at the place of 'death'. His response was that of surprise and his first comment was "Chinese people do not like to talk about death." And my heart response was 'God, what are you getting me into?' And what rose up in me was both the thought of starting in such a difficult place and at the same time feeling so strongly that this is the place to start.
I want to say - Death is not the end of the story, it is not where we are headed, for those of us who believe - it is where we are now! It is the valley of the shadow that we live in now - Jesus has come into the darkness that is already here - and the darkness has not overcome his light! And the practice of upside-down kingdom, that of putting to death the sin that reigns in us, through the decisive and on-going transformative gift of Jesus - teaches us how not to be afraid of death. We are headed toward wholeness; because death has lost its sting, we can face death in every way and not be held by it or overcome. This is where healing is to be found - spiritually, physically, emotionally - and healing is the effect of the work of shalom or peace within us and through us to the world. I want to talk about what Jesus speaks upon coming to meet Martha when Lazarus has died - when he says, "I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die." There is great mystery here, and it is our inheritance.
Oh, I am my father's daughter ! (Dad, I am going to talk about you tomorrow, just in case you feel your ears burning!) - and how I want to be able to share this good news - because it is in the place of death that I have learned to receive healing through Christ. Christ is the antidote to every kind of death. This gives me such confidence and trust to pray for healing.
Okay, I will not try to say in one paragraph what we will be taking three hours and then five days to chew on. But, I am writing this, because I want you to know where I am starting.
Most of you will be reading this on your Monday morning which will be the middle of the night here before my Tuesday morning. Please carry me and this group of us together throughout the day in prayer, and especially pray that I will be sensitive to the words of the spirit in this teaching, and to the hearts of all who are listening. Pray for grace as we make our way together. I feel strongly that this way is the way I am being asked to begin, a way that will break open the truth of where we stand - fears and all - so that together we can look for the healing hand of God extended to us through Jesus and by his Spirit. And I also feel strongly that this is shocking news - good shocking, but shocking, non-the-less. I pray for gentleness of spirit and a patience that does not look for a push (from the labourer) when it is not time. (There was one point last month when I even considered asking God to send Paul (from Tarsus)- who has had a lot more practice in sharing this teaching! :-) But that was last month! and I am a doula, after all! ).
Okay, enough for this day - I am well physically, and it is with a sense of expectation and hope - with a little salt of nervous anticipation - that I look forward to tomorrow.
Much love,
Peace,
Mary
So....tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning the seminar begins. I have spent the day - I think my internal clock is just about in sync with life here - praying and sewing (the two activities can work together remarkably well!) - going over notes from the second and third morning, and finishing off preparation for the Friday evening. That is what I will spend the rest of the day doing as well. Conversing with my thoughts and praying as I set them deep within me.
But tomorrow is the first morning, the first day of the seminar that I have prepared, and this day of teaching is searing a hole in my heart. It is the large picture of Healing, one that addresses some of our fears, stereotypes and the unknown of who God is, and what God is on about.
So last night (and I am not changing the subject!) I was invited for dinner with Amanda and her whole extended family. It was a lovely evening, and I felt very welcomed and at home with the 10 of us around the table - I sat watching and noticing how similar the family interactions were to what I see at home in Vancouver. (Well household, ( and I include myself in this word!) almost - this table was maybe a little more -could I use the word 'courteous?) (Remember, I am laughing as I say this!!)
Daniel, Amanda's elder brother, is a very accomplished doctor working with lung disease and well-known in his field, and it was so interesting to hear his stories and questions around 'healing' as opposed to 'being cured'. He has thought often and long about this from a faith as well as a medical perspective. He asked me how I was going to start to teach about healing, and I said that I was going to start at the place of 'death'. His response was that of surprise and his first comment was "Chinese people do not like to talk about death." And my heart response was 'God, what are you getting me into?' And what rose up in me was both the thought of starting in such a difficult place and at the same time feeling so strongly that this is the place to start.
I want to say - Death is not the end of the story, it is not where we are headed, for those of us who believe - it is where we are now! It is the valley of the shadow that we live in now - Jesus has come into the darkness that is already here - and the darkness has not overcome his light! And the practice of upside-down kingdom, that of putting to death the sin that reigns in us, through the decisive and on-going transformative gift of Jesus - teaches us how not to be afraid of death. We are headed toward wholeness; because death has lost its sting, we can face death in every way and not be held by it or overcome. This is where healing is to be found - spiritually, physically, emotionally - and healing is the effect of the work of shalom or peace within us and through us to the world. I want to talk about what Jesus speaks upon coming to meet Martha when Lazarus has died - when he says, "I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die." There is great mystery here, and it is our inheritance.
Oh, I am my father's daughter ! (Dad, I am going to talk about you tomorrow, just in case you feel your ears burning!) - and how I want to be able to share this good news - because it is in the place of death that I have learned to receive healing through Christ. Christ is the antidote to every kind of death. This gives me such confidence and trust to pray for healing.
Okay, I will not try to say in one paragraph what we will be taking three hours and then five days to chew on. But, I am writing this, because I want you to know where I am starting.
Most of you will be reading this on your Monday morning which will be the middle of the night here before my Tuesday morning. Please carry me and this group of us together throughout the day in prayer, and especially pray that I will be sensitive to the words of the spirit in this teaching, and to the hearts of all who are listening. Pray for grace as we make our way together. I feel strongly that this way is the way I am being asked to begin, a way that will break open the truth of where we stand - fears and all - so that together we can look for the healing hand of God extended to us through Jesus and by his Spirit. And I also feel strongly that this is shocking news - good shocking, but shocking, non-the-less. I pray for gentleness of spirit and a patience that does not look for a push (from the labourer) when it is not time. (There was one point last month when I even considered asking God to send Paul (from Tarsus)- who has had a lot more practice in sharing this teaching! :-) But that was last month! and I am a doula, after all! ).
Okay, enough for this day - I am well physically, and it is with a sense of expectation and hope - with a little salt of nervous anticipation - that I look forward to tomorrow.
Much love,
Peace,
Mary
Friday, August 15, 2008
Natural
I had a great trip from Japan to Manila - Thai Airways had a large plane, and I think each passenger got three seats for one! It was good to stretch out. Now that I am here in Manila, there has been a storm brewing all afternoon, and I am beginning to hear thunder. I am looking forward to a good storm - it reminds me of Ontario. My barometer body says that it is very soon now,....
I spent the afternoon getting to the guesthouse, and settling in. It is almost time for supper, but I am feeling like it must be the middle of the night! (Funny, it is,... in Vancouver!) I am looking forward to my sleep patterns settling in as well.
It has been a good day. It was so good to see Amanda - I was thinking on the plane how much I had waited for this day. Then I saw Amanda, and I knew it really was happening! I remember driving Amanda to the airport at 2:30 in the morning the day that she left Vancouver, and we ended our conversation literally in mid-sentence when she went through the gates. Driving home from the airport early that morning, I wept with grief - I am not sure how I made the trip home - wondering at the limits of time, space and distance upon humanity, conscious of how that day I longed - almost violently - for them to be gone. I wondered at how God was not limited by these things and so gave (surrendered) to His safekeeping my yearnings for Manila and for my friend, to be held in trust till one day when it would be filled again. My feelings seemed so large - and today meeting Amanda and being here seemed so natural. Longings met in ways that I certainly did not imagine on that morning drive - God does all things well.
Tomorrow I meet with a small group of people to pray for what will happen in the coming weeks. I will tell them about you, with much gratitude. Thank you for your prayers.
It is now pouring very hard - my first monsoon!! If we were sitting in the same room, we would have to talk loudly to hear each other. I am going downstairs to watch!! May God's blessings be poured out on us here and you there, just like this rain!! Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
I spent the afternoon getting to the guesthouse, and settling in. It is almost time for supper, but I am feeling like it must be the middle of the night! (Funny, it is,... in Vancouver!) I am looking forward to my sleep patterns settling in as well.
It has been a good day. It was so good to see Amanda - I was thinking on the plane how much I had waited for this day. Then I saw Amanda, and I knew it really was happening! I remember driving Amanda to the airport at 2:30 in the morning the day that she left Vancouver, and we ended our conversation literally in mid-sentence when she went through the gates. Driving home from the airport early that morning, I wept with grief - I am not sure how I made the trip home - wondering at the limits of time, space and distance upon humanity, conscious of how that day I longed - almost violently - for them to be gone. I wondered at how God was not limited by these things and so gave (surrendered) to His safekeeping my yearnings for Manila and for my friend, to be held in trust till one day when it would be filled again. My feelings seemed so large - and today meeting Amanda and being here seemed so natural. Longings met in ways that I certainly did not imagine on that morning drive - God does all things well.
Tomorrow I meet with a small group of people to pray for what will happen in the coming weeks. I will tell them about you, with much gratitude. Thank you for your prayers.
It is now pouring very hard - my first monsoon!! If we were sitting in the same room, we would have to talk loudly to hear each other. I am going downstairs to watch!! May God's blessings be poured out on us here and you there, just like this rain!! Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Same Time, Different Place
So, again, it is 2am Vancouver time, but from where I sit, high in a Japanese Hotel, it is 6pm, and 31 degrees on the next evening (14th). I am happy for my little (little but very efficient/cute) room and the air con. I just spent 12 hours with a travelling companion who is a Japanese mid-wife. She had been in Ontario sussing out their mid-wifery program - she says they are much farther ahead than B.C.! - and was on her way home. We spent the time sharing in a language of simple words, hand gestures, smiles and intent listening, as she told me of her 45 years of experience, the history of Japanese mid-wifery, her philosophy of birthing and her hopes for women in her country. I also learned some of her folk remedies, and together we pored over her Herbal remedy book discussing the plants that we both knew about. Can you imagine! On my next trip to Japan - (what next trip??? :) ) - I have an invitation to her traditional birth house - she kept using the word 'tatami' (?) - and she wants to come see the 'healing house' in Vancouver. Mid-wifery, doula-ing, spiritual companioning, birthing - all words that mingled into the day. I did not get to pull out my computer - need for sleep (3 hours), lack of space - but there was something about those words,....
My friend said often - '... birthing is natural and simple, something to be present to, nothing to be afraid of'. There are parallels to what I am heading into. In all of this conversation today, the thought I had and the prayer that found its way to the surface was that of being present to Christ and asking Christ how we ('we' meaning you pray-ers, too!) can minister to him as I am present to the church in Manila. A prayer that continues,...
My friend said often - '... birthing is natural and simple, something to be present to, nothing to be afraid of'. There are parallels to what I am heading into. In all of this conversation today, the thought I had and the prayer that found its way to the surface was that of being present to Christ and asking Christ how we ('we' meaning you pray-ers, too!) can minister to him as I am present to the church in Manila. A prayer that continues,...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Looking at the moon
2:22am, sitting with my dog Georgia on the steps and listening to the night around me. I am packed and (once I sleep) ready to wake up in the morning and head to the airport. At this time of the night there is no reason to be up, but drifting through the sounds and my wanderings I keep seeing a picture of Aslan sitting and gazing joyfully at the moon. (Funny how these images of Narnia spring up - must be from reading the stories to the boys so often.) It is cloudy outside, but the moon of my imagination is round, large and reflective enough to hold all that is inside; I feel the gaze of God upon me. All is well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)