It is tuesday evening here - we have just come back from the pastors' retreat. We travelled to Tagaytay - about 2 hours away - which can translate into 3 or 4 hours because of traffic, and because it is tradition to stop for marienda! We were hosted at a private residence with grounds and an incredible garden. And the garden, get this! was called "Mary's Garden". Now, they did not choose this place because of the name - but I can imagine the twinkle in God's eye as it was set up! The flowers and shrubs, and pathways and ponds were a feast for my eyes! and I recognized many flowers. I mean I recognized them, but I don't know their name here, in the same way that I don't know their name at home! I was amazed at all that I found that were the same as in Vancouver. It was a spacious place, and I had the opportunity to see the terrain at great length - lots of very steep hills, pineapple plantations, banana groves and green growth of all sorts! Later, on the drive home, On the way my companions showed me a small active volcano which is famous because it sits in a lake (the ocean I think!) and has a lake inside it. It is a beautiful land.
The residence that we stayed in was an incredible example of historical spanish-influenced architecture - quite rare now in Manila - with seashell window shutters (that stayed open) windows covered with netting and then wrought iron lattices. The walls upstairs were woven banana leaf wall-coverings held in place with bamboo, and the floors were mahogany. There were many outside balconies and we took our meals on a terrace that held a magnificent view - I could hardly pull my eyes from it! It was a great place to watch the evening's thunderstorm.
The retreat was spent making space for the group to rest and worship, talk, tell stories about forgiveness, ask questions of healing, and then this morning we prayed for the church, shared communion, and I led them in a service of anointing. It was good. It was a creative time, and much was shared, honestly and with humility and hope. As I sat with them, and walked with them, and listened to their stories as a group or single-y, I began to recognize or connect the faces to the love that God has shared with me for these pastors over the last months. I am not sure how to explain that further,...
The service today was a time of stepping back for me - a time to invite them to step into and look towards a vision for God's healing grace in this church. I listened to their prayers - in English and Chinese - and I wondered how God was going to continue the conversation? I wondered what each one will take on about healing? I wondered how confession, forgiveness and healing will work its way in the church? for healing like prayer, is amongst all of us. I wondered who of these faces God is raising up particularly to be ministers in his healing gifts, in whatever way? As I write these questions, I am curious and yearning, but mostly at the moment, I am tired, and glad that I could take my place, fulfill my offering to God and that I could then let go and rest. Yet still, there is great love.
I will be spending the rest of the week sitting with people - the priority being the pastoral staff - and praying with them. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a particularly full day, and some of the time this week is with people who I know have suffered much. I do not know about the others I am sitting with. Please, if I come to mind, pray for me and for the ones that I am sitting with, listening to, and praying with. I have invited all those who come to bring along someone as prayer support as a sort of apprenticeship if they are comfortable with it. I am not sure if that will happen - I think trust is very difficult in this culture - because somehow the practice of trust is attached to and twisted by deep shame. There are illusions of shame that create great poverty and great idolatry. Of course, for shame is like any other lie from the prince of this world that are held against us, regardless of any culture. And yet they have allowed me to share with them - a decision to trust! So, if I come to mind, that is because you are our prayer support! Thank you so much.
I have begun a list of all the things I have never eaten before: ensalada, pork joint, pig's ear, yam cake, stuffed boiled squid, a philipino vegetable that I have not heard of, and coconut milk right out of the green coconut. They have promised that I will eat durian before I leave! Some of these things I like better than others,....
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